There was always so many things that i have always wanted to do and give to my family. I have two wonderful parents, both of them having two kids by the time they were 20. They never even had a chance to live their lives themselves, but gave that up for us.
       I want my mom to be happy. Nothing ever seems to work out for her and i just wish for once i could see her smile. I dont want to just see a smile, I want to see the happiness in her eyes. I just hope that one day i can take care of her and take her away from all of her worries. I just want her to spend her last days waking up with no worries of money, no worries of men, just finally at peace. She is such a strong woman and I admire her so much for everything that shes been through and still continues to go on.
       I want to build my dad his dream house. He is such a hard working man, and has always been, he would take the shirt off his back for anyone that needed it. I have always looked up to my dad for everything. He has always just been that one person in my life that does no wrong. I am truely a daddys girl. I am grateful for my dad so much because he is the one that brought God in my life. All ive ever wanted was to wake up and have my dad there. I wanted him there for breakfast in the mornings, to be there when i got out of school to tell him about my day, to argue with him about going on my frist date, and to have all the boys meet my dad first before I could ever go out with them. Its something that I never got to have. Never have I had one arguement with my dad. Its only because hes not around and because we see each other so rarely. I hate that, because i feel like we dont have a real relationship if we cant argue over differences that we have, or decisions that ive made, or anything. I love that man so much, and I hate that I didnt get to grow up with him. Its something that has always affected me and always will affect me. Though, I should be grateful for it. I dont think i would be who I am today without my parents divorce. Nor would I have my younger sister or brother.
        I just hope that I can make them all proud. I want my parents to brag about me. I want my dad to be proud and respect my mom more for how good of a job she did at raising me. He always told me that she kept moving us farther away from him and how hes missed out on our lives. I just want him to see that it was for a good reason. I just hate it becuase when i did only live 15 min away from my dad, I took so much advantage of it. On weekends that he was supposed to have my sister and I, I would cancel because I wanted to hang out with my friends. Friends who i dont even talk to anymore. I gave up time with my dad for them. I shouldnt blame myself for it, I was young, i didnt know any better, and didnt appreciate family as much as i do now.
      Life is just too short for small mistakes that most of us dont think about. Be grateful for your family and your friends, and your life. It can be taken away as quickly as it was given to you. I pray that not only I find out my place in this world, but for everyone else. This age can be so difficult. I hope that everyone has at least one person they can go to for advice. Im blessed enough to have several. But you dont have to look very far either. Gods ears are always listening and His arms are always open. He is waiting for you. Its up to you to find him. If you have I pray you continue to keep Him in your heart, and dont loose faith when you feel that hope is lost. If your still looking, I pray that you find Him and let Him into your heart. Its a good feeling knowing that someones on your side, and your not alone.

Never thought it would be this difficult. When I was younger, I had a set plan. I was going to college and going to be a doctor. Not because I wanted to, just because that was your basic career that made a lot of money.
Obviously not being the same person that I was in the fifth grade, my career choices have changed. I cant even begin to tell you what I want to focus on. I could, however, give you about 50 of my choices!
Research, research, research is all I have been doing for the past month! I think that I have found a college. Well starting off at a community college and then transfering to a University. Some ideas for what I may major in are Public Relations, Communications, English, Public Administration, Journalism, or Religion.
My problem is, I cannot decide! Ive looked up all jobs in every major, most of them are very similar, so at least I have a round about idea of what I want. I just can only choose one! I know that I want to help people. I know that I want to do missionary work. I know I want to travel. It would be incredible if you could get paid to do Missionary work! They probably even have positions like that, I have just not came across it yet.
Im just praying that itll just come to me! And I know that it will. Not everyone is expected to know that they want to do for the rest of their life at 19! But its great if you are one of the lucky ones that figure it out!